The Feeling
by Aibohp
Summary: Dean reminisces about being 13 and when he has to deal with the feelings that comes with the memories some secrets he has been keeping are revealed. Warning: Mentions of self harm and probably rated to high... just to be safe.
1. Everything

A/n: Another Supernatural story from me.

Warnings: Contains mention of self harm.

* * *

><p>He hates this feeling. It reminds him of when he was thirteen and he hated <em>everything<em>. It reminds him of when he hated his father for dragging him and Sam around the country, having them living in one seedy motel after the next, leaving them alone for undetermined periods of time. It reminds him of when he hated Sam for being his responsibility, for needing him so much. It reminds him of when he hated Bobby for not stopping any of it and just letting John do what he did rather than encourage him to stop and take care of his boys or maybe even take them in so they would have a stable place to live and they could go to school. It reminded him of when he hated every hunt and every person that was connected to it because they took his father way from him.

_When he was thirteen he really hated __**everything**__. _

_He hated the fact that he couldn't go out and play like normal kids or make friends and hang out with them like a normal child. _

_He hated that he knew how to handle any weapon thrust into his hands by his father. _

_He hated that he knew about what went bump in the dark and that he knew exactly how to kill it. _

_He hated that he slept with a gun under his pillow and carried a knife on him at all times. _

_He hated that he had pretty much been Sam's father for a majority of his life. _

_He hated that his father sometimes came home from hunts drunk and he had to guide the man into bed. _

_He hated having to make up lies to pacify Sam when he asked where their father was. _

_He hated feeling like he had to take care of everyone. _

_He hated __**everything**__._

_But at the same time… He loved his family… He couldn't take out his anger on them. He was supposed to take care of Sam, not hurt him. Then his father had already had his wife taken away from him. The last thing he needed was for his son to turn against him and run off. _

_He found a way to deal with it all and make all the frustration and anger go away completely by accident. _

_It happened when he waiting outside of Sam's current elementary school. He was there to pick up his brother and take him back to the motel they were staying in. Dean was, as usual at the time, angry and frustrated with everything. _

_He still doesn't know why he did it but he started rubbing his knuckles against the wall, right between the dark red bricks._

_His knuckles scraped against the cement keeping the rectangular blocks together until his skin broke. Then he gasped and looked down at his hand, at the now red and bleeding flesh there. He just kept staring at it until Sammy's little hands and his little voice broke him out of his trance. _

"_What happened, Dean? Are you okay?" _

_He just told Sam that everything was fine and that he had gotten into a fight at school. Sam seemed alright with this answer but he then lectured his brother on why he shouldn't be getting into fights. _

_That was the beginning of it all for Dean. After that he started rubbing his knuckles against the bricks on purpose when he was at school. He always gave the same excuses. He fell. He got into a fight… _

_Then when they read a book called __Cut__ in another school things changed. _

_He realized there was a name for what he was doing. He realized he wasn't alone. He felt like there was something a little less wrong with him for doing it. He probably should have felt differently. _

_He started rubbing the skin on his arms raw with safety pins, staples, paperclips, anything he could get his hands on. _

_Then someone at school found out. They told the guidance counselor. The counselor told his father. He was a disappointment to the oldest Winchester and they moved on, away from the school. All of his long sleeved shirts were taken away and every night his father would check his forearms to make sure there was nothing new there. He wasn't allowed to use or care for the knives unless his father was there to supervise. _

_But he never checked his shoulders or his hips or thighs and Dean found out how to take apart a disposable razor with a thumbtack and Sammy never found out. _

He has never really stopped, just slowed down quite a bit. He lightly traces his finger over a thin white scar on the inside of his left forearm near his elbow. That is the only evidence left on his forearms. It is only an inch long, maybe shorter. The cuts on his hips and thighs healed up well as well and they left next to no marks.

His shoulder, though. He reaches up and runs his fingers over it, feeling one particularly nasty scar. It is raised up on his shoulder and there are much finer, scars that surround it, a mass of white lines crossing and overlapping each other. When Sam saw them the first time he lied and said they were from wounds during a hunt.

There is a scar on his chest and if you squint you can see it. It is an X over his heart. He rubs the place where the scar is with the tips of his fingers. He can't even feel it anymore.

He shivers a little at the fuzzy feeling that has blanketed itself over him. It is that feeling he hates because it makes him think of when he was thirteen.

It is a fuzzy, nostalgic feeling and he wants to hurt himself again to make it stop creeping over his skin. He doesn't, though. He just lets out a shuddering breath and pulls on his shirt. He has been sitting up in the room he used to share with his brother when they were little and would stay at Bobby's.

When he leaves the room he lets out another breath at the top of the stairs and then he clops down them. He plasters a smile on his face and stalks into the kitchen, taking a beer out of the fridge and hopping up onto the counter, swinging his legs like a big child as he nurses his new drink after popping the cap off.

His brother is there, pouring over books. Sam looks up at his brother and cocks his head to the side.

"Hey, man, you feeling alright? You've been up upstairs for hours now. I didn't think you were ever coming down."

"I don't know. I feel off. It's an odd feeling. Not bad, not good. I think I should be careful with it," he says with a laugh.

It isn't often that Dean says something that confuses him but Sam can honestly say that his brother has managed it this time. He just stares at his big brother while the man smiles like a loon and nurses his beer, staring out the window while he occasionally runs a finger over his arm.

* * *

><p>An: TBC

Also, just in case it was confusing, Italics indicate past events and that is why I started writing in past tense there. This rule will follow through any chapters that come after this.


	2. Call For Help

A/n: Okay so I wasn't originally intending to continue this story but well... It happened. Also I realize that the chapters are short and that I cold probably have fit all of them into one document and kept it as a oneshot but I think the length of the chapters works well so if you want to complain.. Don't.

Warning: Contains mention of self harm.

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><p>It isn't often that Sam is confused by his brother but right now he is. He doesn't understand what his brother means by being careful with his mood. Since when does he think about being careful with feelings or emotions? Dean has disappeared upstairs again. Sam wonders when he will come down again. He doesn't like this feeling of not understanding something about his brother, the only person he thinks he knows inside and out.<p>

He sighs, not sure if he should try to follow his brother upstairs and talk to him or if he should just let him bee. Dean isn't much on talking. So maybe leaving him alone is his best bet for now. If his big brother wants to talk to him he will.

Ohlookalinebreak

Maybe he can just do it once for old time's sake? Dean shakes his head, sighing quietly and curling his hands into the blankets of the bed he is laying on. He doesn't want to hurt himself. He has no reason to. Everything is fine right now. Everything is alright and he doesn't need to do it. It is just that stupid feeling.

For now he just lies on his back, curling his fingers into the scratchy blanket under him. He tells himself that if he just ignores the fuzzy feeling it will go away. He doesn't have to hurt himself. But he still feels like he should, like he is supposed to because that is who he is.

He is Dean Winchester.

He is Dean Winchester and sometimes things get to be too much.

He is Dean Winchester and sometimes things get to be too much and he hurts himself.

He is Dean Winchester and sometimes things get to be too much and he hurts himself because he is dysfunctional.

But he hasn't done that in a while, a long while. It has been months since he took a razor to his skin. Only four of the last seven cuts he made still show. He always cuts himself in numbers divisible by either seven or three. They are scars now, not scabbed over cuts. They are shiny, pink, horizontal lines that are just slightly raised from the skin surrounding them. He wonders if they will become just faint, pale lines or if they will stay raised like a couple of the others.

With a growl of frustration he sits up, whipping his shirt off. He can't take it anymore. He has to do something. He leans gets up and goes to his bag of weapons that he brought inside with him. There is a small knife in there. It is really too tiny to do much damage to anything but he doesn't keep it with him to fight with. He keeps it for occasions like this.

The man breathes deeply, opening the small pocket knife once he finds it and going to lie back down in the bed. He closes his eyes and gently rests the small blade against his stomach, just below his navel. Not putting any pressure on his the knife but just letting gravity do that for him, he drags the knife up the center of his body until he reaches his collar bones. A tiny gasp escapes him as he drags the blade over his clavicle. He breaks out into gooseflesh and his nipples stiffen.

His lips part and he lifts the blade off of his skin for a moment, then places it on the center of his bottom lip. His tongue slips out just enough to press against the tip of the blade. With a shuddering breath he pulls the knife away and closes it then curls up on his side.

He loves the feel of the metal but he hates that he loves it so much.

The pocket knife is, surprisingly, safe for him. He doesn't like to use knives to hurt himself. His knives are sharp but they just aren't right for the job. He needs a blade from a disposable razor. Those are perfect.

They are thin, sharp and they slice through his skin so cleanly. He shivers at the feeling and bites his lip. He opens his pocket knife again and runs it over his left shoulder lightly, shivering again and letting out a quiet whimper.

He is so messed up.

Ohlooklinebreak

After John called him when he found out that Dean was hurting himself Bobby did what Bobby did best. He researched… and drank… a lot.

He sees Sam and Dean as his own kids half the time and to think that one of them found comfort in hurting themselves was painful for him. Is painful. He knows that Dean hasn't stopped, not completely. Dean is careful. It isn't easy to tell that he hurts himself if you don't know what to look for. Bobby does, though, because he knows that Dean hurts himself.

He knows that the reason that Dean always keeps his shirt on or if it is off he finds a way to hid his left shoulder is because there are new marks on it, fresh scars that are too neat and clean cut to be from being attacked by any monster on a hunt.

Bobby wonders why John never caught on to that. He probably didn't want to admit that his son was still doing it after he found out. Who would want to admit that their kid might still be hurting themselves even though you think you've done everything to keep him from doing it.

Take away his knives, don't let him use anything sharp without supervision, check him over for cuts and marks. But if you aren't checking everywhere then it doesn't work.

If you're gone for days to weeks on end it doesn't work.

If you don't pay enough attention to the little things or if you start to stop checking because you think your kid has gotten better… it doesn't work.

Bobby knows that Dean has never completely stopped.

But dean wasn't Bobby's kid. He doesn't have the right to strip him down, check him for cuts and keep him in his sights twenty-four-seven. He wishes he could, though. He hates not knowing what to do about this situation with Dean.

"Bobby."

The older man looks up to see Sam standing in the door way to his study.

"What d'ya need, Sam?" he asks, looking back down at the book spread open on his desk.

"Well its Dean," Bobby stiffens slightly in his seat. Sam notices but presses on. "He's been acting weird all day today. You know what's up with him?"

Bobby frowns, wondering if he should suspect that Dean is hurting himself again. For a moment he says nothing but then he shakes his head, not looking up from his book as he answers.

"Nope, I dunno what the ijit's problem is," he says.

Sam watches the older man but nods, accepting the answer then walking away. He really isn't happy with Bobby's answer at all. He knows something is up with his brother and he knows that both he and Bobby are keeping things from him. He just doesn't know what.

Ohlookalinebreak

His muscles twitch under the blade as he runs the tip of the knife over his thighs, pants on the floor with his shirt. Dean hates how much he loves how nice this feels. How comforting it is.

When he takes the blade away from his skin this time he smiles a bit, remembering a girl he met while _he was out on the road after Sam left for college. She reminds him of his mother. _

_Even though he is older than her when she found out that he hurt himself she turned into a mother hen. _

_Even though she had been hurt and deserved someone to comfort her she didn't stop trying to take care of him. _

_Even though she barely knew him she let him sleep on her couch instead of letting him go back to some seedy motel after they met in a bar. _

_Even though his behavior was strange at best she never questioned why he did what he did. _

He remembers the night that he woke up to hear her screaming.

_He had leapt off the couch and ran to save her, to protect her from whatever was hurting her. Dean couldn't save his mother but he could save her. He couldn't let something hurt her. She was too kind to be hurt by one of the things that went bump in the night. _

_When he busted down the door to her room and saw that nothing was hurting her he was confused. She was just lying in her bed, screaming at the top of her lungs. He asked her why. She said that it helped, that it made it easier to resist the urge to hurt herself. _

_The next time he heard her screaming like that in the yard he still jumped up and ran to protect her, like a loyal dog, but he wasn't surprised to see that she wasn't hurt. She had been smashing an old mop against her clothes line. It broke and then she seemed to break. She just fell to her knees and cried. Dean took her back inside and held her until she felt better. It felt good to be able to take care of her. It felt like he was repaying her in some small way for taking care of him. _

He wishes that he could just lay there and scream or go outside and destroy something like he saw her do before. Dean can't let Sam or Bobby see him fall apart, though. He can't let them see how fragile he is. He has to protect Sam and Bobby has to know he can keep Sam safe. Everyone has to know he can keep Sam safe.

Everyone except for the girl he met. Even though she isn't a hunter and she doesn't know about what goes bump in the night he still feels like she can keep him safe.

Her number is his phone. He wonders if he should call her.

She said he could if he ever needed her.

He thinks he needs her.

He fishes his phone out of his jeans.

He holds it close, debating on if he should call.

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><p>An: TBC


	3. China Cat Sunflower

A/n: Oh look, another chapter. I feel bad because I'm updating this all quickly and stuff and my other stories I've kinda let fall behind. Though I was writing for the next chapter in "Hold My Hand," then Minecraft happened. That game is dangerous...

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><p>Dean still hasn't come downstairs. It is almost six. The last time Sam saw him it was noon. He is worried. When the stairs creak Sam jumps up from his chair in the kitchen and runs to the foot of the stairs. Dean is coming down them slowly. He looks tired. It does nothing to ease Sam's worry.<p>

"Hey, Sammy, what's for eats?" Dean asks, brushing past his brother and heading into the kitchen. He opens the fridge and pulls out a beer. Then, thinking about the conversation he had with his friend earlier he puts it back.

Sam thinks it's odd.

"Bobby went out to get something. I don't know what, though," he says, watching has his brother sits at the table. His phone comes out of his pocket and he starts to fiddle with it. "Are you alright, Dean?"

Dean stares up at Sam for a moment as if debating what to say.

"I'm fine, Sammy. Don't worry about me," he says, looking out the window and blinking a few times. He is thinking about his friend again, the girl he met.

He wonders if China Cat Sunflower is her real name or if it is just one of her many nicknames.

He decides he doesn't care. He likes calling her Sunflower or China Cat.

"You find anything worth looking into while you were doing all your researching today, Sammy?"

The giant of a man just watches his brother stare out the window. He waits until Dean looks at him then slowly shakes his head.

"No," he says quietly. Dean just nods.

Dean wants to go on a hunt so that maybe this feeling will go away. Maybe if he gets hurt on the hunt. Maybe if he beats down some creepy critter he will feel better and everything will be alright again.

"I'm going to go out and work on the Impala," Dean finally says, getting up and heading outside.

Sam wonders if Dean is really going tout to tune up the Impala or if he is just trying to be alone again.

Ohlookalinebreak

Dean doesn't come back inside until after Bobby gets back. He doesn't stop in the kitchen or eat with his brother or the older man. He just goes back upstairs.

Sam and bobby share a worried look then look at the stairs that Dean just climbed.

"What do you think is up with him?" Sam asks, his voice hushed.

Bobby lets out a sigh and shakes his head.

"I don't know, Sam," he replies, taking a drink from the bottle in his hand

Sam took a deep breath then sighed; pushing around pieces of lettuce in his salad that Bobby had gotten him. He is worried about his brother and wants to know what's wrong. He has never seen Dean act like this. It is a bit disturbing.

Bobby is thinking along the same lines mixed with thoughts about Dean hurting himself and how much he hopes the boy isn't.

For the most part he and Sam keep their thoughts to themselves.

"Ijit…" Bobby mutters when he is done with his food, the man glancing at the stairs over his shoulder with a frown.

Sam sighs quietly, watching Bobby wander off to this study. He wonders if his brother is going to be alright.

When the man finishes his meal he doesn't go upstairs. He goes to the couch and makes himself at home there, watching crappy TV shows until he falls asleep.

Ohlookalinebreak

It is midnight. Everyone is asleep except for Bobby. He is looming over Dean's bed, looking down at the younger man. He heaves a quiet sigh and slowly peels back the blanket covering him. He looks quickly, not wanting to get caught. But he is pleased to find that he sees no fresh or suspicious wounds on the boy's upper body. He can't check anywhere else, though. Dean has fallen asleep in his jeans and there is no way that Bobby can get him out of those.

He sighs, taking some comfort in the fact that he hasn't seen any evidence of the man hurting himself.

He leaves the room and dean is none the wiser.

Ohlookalinebreak

The next day starts almost the same as yesterday. Sam goes to the kitchen and makes breakfast. He and Bobby eat and they see no sign of Dean coming down to eat with them.

Sam sets up a place in the kitchen and starts to read.

Bobby goes to his study and does the same.

Dean stays upstairs, trying to make himself fall back asleep.

He is feeling slightly better but the fuzzy feeling his still there so he just wants to keep sleeping. He can't feel it if he is asleep.

Olookalinebreak

It isn't until nearly three in the afternoon that anything happens. There is a knock on the door and it is so rare for Bobby Singer to get any visitors that for a while, everyone ignores it. Then the knocks get louder and are hard enough to make the door rattle and jump in its frame. When Bobby and Sam go to the door, both holding guns they share a questioning look.

Bobby is the one to open the door.

What is on the other side certainly isn't what he expected.

It is a woman.

Just a woman with wavy, slightly messy hair that looks like it was dyed red at one time but now the roots are showing. It is still pretty, though. She doesn't even blink at the guns the two men are holding. She just smiles and says with a slight southern pull on her voice,

"Is Dean Winchester here? That looks like his car but I think that he has changed the plates since I've seen it."

Bobby and Sam just stare at her dumbly, though there is suspicion in their eyes too. The woman doesn't look dangerous. She doesn't look dangerous at all with her two toned hair, big brown eyes, pink lips and rosy cheeks.

Sam looks her over from the top of her head down to her toes, looking for anything suspicious. She doesn't look like the kind of woman that his brother would pick up. Of course that doesn't mean she isn't pretty. She is plump and curvy but that isn't what makes it odd that his brother might know her.

She looks too sweet. Most of the women he meets seem to have some sort of wickedness about them. This woman just looks like she could be someone's little sister, maybe a young child's mother. She is wearing a white dress with little flowers all over it. It flares away from her round hips and sways slightly as she shifts from one foot to the other, waiting for an answer.

"Are either of you going to answer me?" she asks, her eyes narrowed now as she watches the two men, arms crossing over her chest.

She reminds Bobby of his own mother when he would come into the house covered in dirt and his mother would ask him what happened.

"He's here," the man finally says, getting a surprised look from Sam.

Bobby thinks that Sam just doesn't understand the power of that 'mom' look.

The woman smiles sweetly and nods, head tilting to the side a little.

"Well would you be so kind as to let me in to see him or get him to come see me?" she asks with that little southern accent.

Sam wonders if she is what people would consider a Southern Belle.

After a few more moments of staring the men back out of the doorway and Bobby opens the door. She walks into the house, looking around but not commenting on the piles of books or the amount of dust coating everything. The woman migrates into the kitchen and sits at the table, peering down at Sam's book. The man quickly scoops it up and closes it. He can't let her see any of this supernatural stuff.

She doesn't say anything but looks up at the man and perks a brow.

"Would you like something to drink?" Bobby asks gruffly, trying to draw attention from Sam.

He wonders if she notices that the two of them are moving around her like she is a wild animal that could attack them at any moment. If she does she doesn't say anything. She just crosses her legs, lays her hands in her lap and smiles.

"Some water would be nice, thank you. I haven't stopped driving since I got a call from Dean yesterday. Poor boy probably doesn't know I'm coming. I doubt that he knows that I know where to look," she said with a sly little smile.

That makes Bobby suspicious.

"Sam, go get your brother," he says, pouring a little bit of salt and holy water into the glass when the woman isn't looking.

Sam slowly retreats up the stairs.

"Now what did you say your name was?" Bobby asks as he hands off the water to the girl. She takes a sip them hums and puts the glass down.

"I never said, did I? Where are my manners? You can call me China Cat or Sunflower," she says with a smile. Bobby screws up his face in confusion for a moment.

"China Cat… Sunflower… Like the Grateful Dead song?" She just laughs and nods.

"Yes, Sir. That would be the song," she replies, sipping on her water again. Nothing is happening to her. That's a good sign.

"How did you now Dean was gonna be here?" he asks, taking a seat across the table from her and not letting go of his shotgun.

"Hmm… Well it was more of a guess than me actually knowing. I remember him telling me about a friend of his named Bobby Singer that lives in South Dakota. So when I found out there was a 'Singer Salvage Yard' her Souix Falls I thought it would be worth checking out," she said with a little shrug and a smile.

Bobby frowns, wondering who the hell this woman is if Dean is telling her things like that.

Two sets of feet on the stairs draw their attention and they look to the door, seeing Sam leading a sleepy looking Dean into the room. When he sees the woman he freezes in his tracks, though.

The sight of Dean seems to have the opposite effect on her, though. She bounces out of the chair like she's been burnt and walks up to the man, wrapping her arms around him and pulling her head down to her shoulder (Which isn't that far since she seems to be a bit tall for a woman).

"Dean! You look so tired, have you been sleeping alright? Are they feeding you?" she asks, astonishing Bobby with how much like a mother she sounds.

The woman leans back a little and pushes Dean back so she can look at him. She cups his face in her hands and runs her thumbs over his cheeks then smiles softly and goes up on her tip toes to kiss his forehead.

"China Cat?" he finally asks, blushing just a bit because his voice cracks. The fact that he recognizes her seems to make her happy because she just smiles brightly and hugs the man again. This time he hugs her back, though.

"Why are you here?" he finally gasps out, hugging the woman tighter and making her squeak then giggle.

"You needed me so I came," she replies, kissing the young man's cheek and stroking his short hair.

"How did you know where I was?" he murmured against her shoulder. If asked he would deny it but his eyes were tearing up.

"If you need me I'll find you," she said quietly, leaning back and then breaking away from the man and petting his cheek again.

* * *

><p>An: Yes I did just name a character that I made up after a Grateful Dead song.

.com/watch?v=TqXH4GZArLA

There is a link to the song on youtube if you want to listen to it.


	4. Mothers

A/n: Oh look, another chapter! I hope you are all still enjoying the story.

* * *

><p>Dean is astonished to see her again. He didn't expect her to drop everything she was doing to come see him just because he told her that he was feeling like hurting himself again. When she hugs him he buries his face in her shoulder, inhaling the smell of her clothes and hair.<p>

She still smells like apples and fresh air.

He enjoys the feeling of her hands running over his hair and face. The heels of her hands are slightly rough and her palms are dry but soft. Her fingernails are still in rough shape. He wonders if she still bites them. For a little while he just ignores the fact that Bobby and Sam are in the kitchen and he hugs her, enjoying the way that she squishes in his arms.

The woman allows herself to be used as a teddy bear until Bobby clears his throat behind them.

"Care to explain all this, Dean?" the man asks in a gruff, no nonsense voice. China Cat stiffens slightly at the tone of voice and for a second her eyes harden as she looks at the man. Bobby thinks she looks like a momma dog protecting her young for that second.

"You boys go talk," she says after a moment, looking and sounding sweet as sugar again. The woman starts to herd the three men out of the kitchen. "I have a lot to do before it's time for supper," she says, smiling brightly as she pushes them into the living room and seats them on the couch before scampering back into the kitchen and closing the doors behind her.

Three pairs of eyes stare after her and then two of those pairs turn to stare at Dean who seems to be trying to press himself into the couch so he can disappear between the cushions.

"So you wanna explain that, Dean?" Bobby asked again, giving Dean an expectant look.

"Explain what?" Dean asks, attempting to play dumb.

"Explain why some random woman shows up out of nowhere and asks for you then starts preening over you like that," Sam says, casting a confused look toward the kitchen.

"How did you even meet a girl like that?" Bobby asks, looking at the kitchen doors as well.

"Well I met her when I was on a hunt while Sam was at college. I was staying in the same place for a while and she took it upon herself to let me stay with her…" he says, screwing his eyes shut and waiting for the lecture he was sure he would get.

"What is wrong with you, you ijit! So what did you live with her for a while and get hr knocked up or something. Is that why she was fawning over you like you're God's gift to humanity?" the man asks, exaggerating a bit and earning a snort from Sam.

"It looked more to me like he was her baby not her baby's daddy," he says, eyeing his brother suspiciously.

Dean frowned and threw himself off the couch, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

"She is just a bit of a mother hen! She likes to take care of people," he says. His brother just kept staring at him and then Dean broke again. "Okay she likes taking care of me. What's wrong with that?"

"Well for one we don't know who she is, Dean," Sam says, standing up as well and towering over his brother. Dean wonders if he is trying to seem intimidating.

"She is China Cat or if you prefer, you can call her Sunflower!" Dean says as if that makes the most sense in the world.

"Is that even her real name, son?" Bobby asks, standing up now as well.

Dean feels like a wild animal getting backed into a corner. What does it matter if China Cat Sunflower is her real name?

She is his China Cat.

She will keep him safe.

She will take care of him.

Suddenly he wants to just run into the kitchen and hide from his brother and Bobby behind her.

He doesn't know what to say to them. Thankfully he is saved from saying anything when China Cat comes out of the kitchen again, smiling.

"I'll be back soon. I just need to go to the store. You know there is no food in this house," she says, looking at Bobby and Sam.

Sam is startled by the look in her eyes. There is a thinly veiled threat in her eyes, like she is displeased with the way he and Bobby are ganging up on Dean and if they don't stop there will be hell to pay. She smiles sweetly, though and moves over to Dean, wrapping an arm around his waist and gently tugging him.

"Come on. You can show me where the nearest store, Dean," she says, gently tugging him out of the room. Dean follows easily and China Cat looks over her shoulder, pinning Sam and Bobby with that same look that says she will destroy them if they hurt Dean.

She definitely looks like a protective mother dog or maybe a wolf.

Ohlookalinebreak

Dean goes with China cat to the store; he comes back, he helps her carry in everything that they bought and then he hides in the kitchen with her.

Bobby and Sam don't know what to do about it so they lock themselves in Bobby's study and start to do research because they are convinced that this China Cat woman has to be a supernatural creature. The loyalty that she seems to inspire in Dean that he normally only reserved for family can't be normal.

Ohlookalinebreak

"I want you to go talk to your brother, Dean. You are worrying him."

Dean frowns, looking at the woman who he has been cleaning the kitchen with. She's cooking now. There is a pot of sweet peas on the stove beside another pot with potatoes in it and yet another pot with corn. There is a chicken in the oven and Dean is hovering around China Cat in case she needs anything.

"But… I don't like the way they talk about you or the way they act like it is so wrong for me to be friends with you," he says softly, frowning when he feels his cheeks heat up. China Cat just laughs softly.

"Well I would be suspicious if I was them. I mean a random woman just pops up out of nowhere and starts mothering you, seems kind of odd to me," she says. Dean frowns and moves to hug her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"Well I like that you mother me," he says quietly, pressing his face down into the woman's shoulder. "They just don't get it…"

"That is because they had mothers," she murmurs, reaching up to pet the older man's head. "Go talk to your brother at least," she says softly, turning her head and kissing his cheek softly.

When he doesn't budge she smiles and gently pushes the man away, turning around to reach up and cup his cheeks.

"Go talk to your brother, for me?" she asks softly. That seems to break Dean's resolve because he lets out a sigh and left the kitchen. China Cat just smiled and went back to cooking.

Ohlookalinebreak

There is a knock on the study door. Sam is the one who gets up and opens it and gets to be surprised to see Dean. He blinks a few times and Dean shifts nervously.

"Um… Can I talk to you, Sam?" he asks quietly. The taller man cocks his head to the side but nods, looking over his shoulder at Bobby and shrugging as he slips out the door, closing it behind him.

The brothers walk into bobby's living room, sitting down on the couch. For a little while they just sit there in silence. Dean is the one who breaks the ice.

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to talk about. China Cat just told me to come talk to you," he says quietly. Sam lets out an exasperated sigh.

"Why do you do what she says like that? Normally you don't do anything unless you want to, not because someone else tells you to."

"She's different, Sam," Dean murmurs quietly, seeming a bit childish as he defends the woman.

"How is she different? You act like she's your mother or something," Sam says, crossing his arms over his chest and scowling.

"You just don't get it, Sam. You had…" he pauses and blinks a few times. He was about to tell Sam that he had a mother. But he didn't. Sam didn't have a mother. He had him. He had Dean. Something seems to click for the older man and he snorts softly. "You had me."

"So? How does that make it so that I don't understand this weird devotion that you have for this woman?" Sam asks, starting to get frustrated.

"You don't get it because you had me to take care of you. No one ever took care of me after mom died. Dad was too busy hunting to take care of either of us. I took care of you. No one took care of me. You don't get it because you've never not had someone there to take care of you," he says, smiling at his brother. "I'm so loyal to her because she takes care of me, like a mother. She takes care of me like Mom would have if she hadn't died, like dad should have!"

Sam is quiet for a moment and just staring at his suddenly happy brother. His frustration lessens somewhat. He sighs quietly and cocks his head to the side.

"So… She's pretty much your mother figure or something?" he asks, wrinkling his nose a little bit in confusion.

"I guess… It… It's just nice to have someone take care of me for once. I was always taking care of you and dad. It isn't easy to always be taking care of someone. It gets stressful," Dean says quietly, reaching up to rub his left shoulder.

He thinks it feels good to talk to his brother.

* * *

><p>An: TBC


	5. This Wasn't Supposed To Happen

A/n: Oh look, another chapter!

By the way, thank you all for your comments and constructive criticism.

* * *

><p>The room is quiet when Sam goes back into the study to sit with Bobby. He feels a little better about allowing Dean to spend so much time with that woman. Dean trusts her and nothing has happened to her so far. She hasn't been caught in any of the devil's traps and nothing happened when she drank Bobby's holy water and salt cocktail.<p>

"What did your brother want?" Bobby finally asks, flicking past a page in his book.

"He just wanted to talk," Sam replies, moving to sit down again, picking up the book he had been looking at.

"What did he want to talk about?"

Sam pauses for a moment, wondering if he should tell Bobby. Dean didn't say he could but, then again, they rarely keep secrets from him.

"He told me why he is so loyal to China Cat or… Sunflower… Whatever her name is, he said that she takes care of him like mom would have and like dad should have and that he likes it. He said that it was nice to have someone taking care of him for a change…" The man pauses and looks down at the book in his lap.

Bobby watches him and perks a brow when Sam lets out a somewhat sad laugh.

"I never thought about what it must have been like for him, Bobby. He's been taking care of me since, well since he was four. He's always taken care of me and of dad when dad needed help. No one has ever really taken care of him, have they, Bobby? After mom died that was it. He kind of took her spot, didn't he? How could he stand being under so much pressure?"

The older man looks at Sam and then sighs quietly, closing his book. He wonders if he should tell Sam that his brother hasn't dealt very well with the pressure of raising a child and helping his father and being a hunter. Maybe he should. Sam has a right not know and he isn't a little kid anymore.

"Well, Sam…"

Ohlookalinebreak

Dean likes this. He likes listening to China Cat humming Guns and Roses and Led Zeppelin while she moves around the kitchen. The man smiles softly and looks down at the bowl of potatoes he is mashing. More milk gets poured into the bowl and kind of wishes that things could just stay like this. That China cat could just stay and take care of the three of them. He likes having a mother.

"Hey… How do you handle this stuff… like taking care of me without wanting to… You know," he murmurs softly, looking at the younger woman who just smiles softly and shrugs.

"You and I do it for different reasons. I mean… we both do it because it makes us feel better but different things make us want to. Ever since I was eighteen all I've wanted to do was take care of people. Be a wife and a mother and just… take care of a family. So this doesn't bother me. It makes me happy," she shrugs a little and dons checks on the chicken again.

"What does make you want to?" he softly asks, watching as she straightens up again. She screws her face up in confusion as she tries to think of what to say.

"When I get really upset or angry," she says slowly, leaning back against a counter, "and I want to destroy something or scream and I can't… it helps, I guess. When I was younger I think I did it because I didn't think I could let anyone know I was falling apart but I needed to let out all the anger I couldn't hurt other people but I could hurt myself. No one ever said that was wrong. They just told me not to take my angers out on others," she shrugs, turning to take the peas and corn off the stove.

"I just… I don't know. It is hard to explain, you now?" she says softly, frowning because she dislikes the fact that she can't seem to give an answer that she knows she has in her head.

Dean just smiles a bit and hugs the woman, kissing her temple lightly. "I get it," he says quietly. "Are these done?" he asks, holding the bowl of potatoes out to woman who just dips her finger into the mashed mess of spuds.

She like them off her finger then laughs softly and nods. "Perfect."

A broad grin spreads over Dean's face.

Then the doors slam open. Sam is standing there he looks furious, worried, and sad. Dean puts down the bowl of potatoes and frowns at his brother.

"What's wrong, Sammy?" he asks, blinking a few times and giving a shaky smile as the taller man stalks up to him and grabs his biceps, shaking Dean a little bit.

"Tell me Bobby lying!" the taller boy demands, squeezing his brother's arms.

"Lying about what?" Dean asks, looking confused and slightly scared of his brother.

"He said that you hurt yourself. Tell me he is wrong!" Sam says starting to sound desperate.

Dean doesn't have to answer, the blood rushing from his face and the flashes of anger, shame, sadness, and fear that flash through his eyes is more than enough. He shoves his brother back, eyes showing pain and frustration with his brother.

"Dean… How could you do that?" he asks then he frowns and makes a grab for the boy's shoulder. "Show me!"

Dean feels like a kid again.

He feels like he did when his father found out.

_He walked into the hotel room and then suddenly his father was grabbing at his wrists and shoving the sleeves of his shirt. The man hadn't said anything when his son started wearing long sleeved shirts. He just assumed he was trying to hide cuts or bruises from hunts so that Sammy wouldn't ask questions. _

_The wounds he finds on his son's forearms aren't from any hunt, though. He just sees patches of flesh on his son's arms that are rubbed raw, scabbed over and bleeding. Others are in various stages of healing, leaving pink scars that won't last. He threw down his son's arms and snarled at the boy. _

"_What the hell, Dean?" he shouts, towering over his son. "What the fuck were you thinking?" _

_Dean just quivered, not saying anything. He couldn't think of anything to say. This wasn't supposed to happen. No one was supposed to know. He opened his mouth to say something to his father but nothing comes out. He can't think of what to say to the man. _

"Back off!"

The angry voice of a woman snaps Dean out of his thoughts and he looks down in front of him. China Cat is standing there, between the brothers, glaring at Sam. Her hands are curled into fists and she looks pissed.

"Just back the fuck off, Sam," she snarls. Her eyes go to the door when Bobby comes in, having been drawn by the sound of shouting.

"What's going on here?" he asks, barely getting the words out of his mouth before a fist slams into his jaw.

"That wasn't your secret to tell, Robert Singer!" the woman growls and only two thoughts go through Bobby's head.

One: The little girl has quite a punch.

Two: He swears her eyes turn golden for a second.

"Sam had a right to know," he says, rubbing his jaw, only to get slapped by the girl this time.

"He had a right to know when Dean was ready to tell him, not before!" she argues, glaring at the man and trembling. To Sam it looks like she is restraining herself form tearing Bobby apart.

Dean has backed himself into a corner. He wants to run way.

Sam shouldn't have found out.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

* * *

><p>An: TBC


	6. Green Bird

A/n: I'm running out of things to say up here. Here's another chapter. Hope you still like it.

* * *

><p>Bobby and Sam have been kicked out of the kitchen again. It has been an hour since Sam confronted Dean and dean hasn't said a word since.<p>

The door creaks open and both Sam and Bobby look up, hoping to see Dean. It is a still scowling China Cat. She has a plate of food in her hand, another balanced on her forearm, and in her free hand there are two beers.

The plates of food are none to gently placed on the low table in front of the couch. The beers are put down beside the plates. Without a word she turns and stalks back into the kitchen.

"What do you think they are doing in there?" Sam asks, looking down at the food in front of him. There is a little bit of everything. Baked chicken, peas, corn, mashed potatoes, even a slice of bread to go with it all.

"I don't know, son but I don't like it. I called your father," Bobby replies, lifting the food to his face and sniffing at it, trying to check and see if anything is off about it.

Sam just takes a bite of the chicken. He doesn't think that the woman would poison them. She seems to care a lot about Dean and she probably knows that it would hurt him if Sam and Bobby were to turn up dead.

"Do you think he will come?" the younger man asks, smiling a bit sadly as he eats a forkful of potatoes. The food is good. It is the first home cooked meal he has had in a long time and he wishes that it could've been shared with his brother and Bobby at a table.

But his brother won't talk to them.

His brother is in the kitchen with that woman.

He is curled up in the corner of the room, looking scared.

Sam doesn't like that look of fear on his brother's face, especially not when his brother is looking at him.

"I'd hope so. His boy might have started hurting himself again and he has a crazy lady standing guard over him like a starving dog guarding a bone. Besides I don't know what the hell she is but I don't think she is normal. Her eyes turned gold when she punched me in there… little girl's god a good punch…" Bobby grumbled, finally giving in to the good smelling food and eating some of the chicken. "Anyway, maybe your father will know what she is and how we can get rid of her."

"Should we get rid of her, Bobby? I mean… She makes Dean happy," Sam murmurs, pushing his peas around on his plate. He doesn't really want to take the woman away from his brother if she's making him happy, keeping him from hurting himself.

His brother hurts himself.

His brother who he thought was invincible hurts himself.

He shudders at the though.

"What makes you happy isn't always good for you," Bobby says with a matter of fact tone in his voice.

Sam just looks back down at his food.

Ohlookalinebreak

China Cat is humming a song he hasn't heard before but he likes it. It makes him feel calm. So does the feeling of her fingers stroking their way through his hair.

"What's the name of that song?" he asks softly, opening his eyes to look up at the woman. They are sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. Well, she is sitting. Dean is lying down for the most part, using his as a pillow.

His hip is fitted between her legs and his head is lying on her chest. Normally laying between a woman's legs with his face pressed into her breasts would probably be causing an entirely different reaction in him but right now he just feels calm.

He feels warm.

He feels Safe.

He feels like she will protect him from anything.

China Cat smiles and pets his hair, kissing the top of his head as he nuzzles into her chest.

"Green Bird. The song is called Green Bird," she murmurs quietly, running her hand down his back. He nods slowly and closes his eyes again.

"Sam wasn't supposed to find out. I never wanted him to know that I hurt myself," he says quietly, glancing at the door. He doesn't want to leave the kitchen. He doesn't want to leave China Cat's arms.

He doesn't have to either. Not with her around. With China Cat he can be as childish as he wants.

China Cat starts to hum again and he smiles sleepily, rubbing his cheek against her chest. Slowly he starts to hum with her and she smiles, pressing her lips to the top of his head and humming a little louder.

"Is China Cat Sunflower your real name?" he murmurs softly, slowly getting tired as she hums and holds him close, keeping him warm.

"No. I just think it would be cool to be named that," she laughs. He laughs with her but doesn't ask what her real name is. To him she will always be his China Cat Sunflower.

Everything is quiet for a little while and then she pipes up again.

"How are you feeling, Dean?" she murmurs softly.

"I kind of want to do it…" he says softly, feeling a bit ashamed. He wishes that just being with her was enough to make him want to stop but it isn't.

He's scared.

He's frustrated.

He is worried of what his brother will think of him now.

Ohlookalinebreak

Sam and Bobby are still looking at the kitchen door, waiting for one of them to come out. The two can't stay in there all night, can they? A pounding at the door distracts them. Bobby groans, pushing up off the couch.

When he gets to the door he is happy to see John there. Happy as he is, though, he doesn't let the man in before making him take a drink from his flask of holy water.

"Where is Dean?" John asks as soon as he is permitted into the house. Bobby opens his mouth to answer but screams coming from the kitchen cut him off.

Sam is already at the door, trying to open it when the two older men get there. John pushes his son out of the way and makes short work of the door with a swift kick.

Nothing seems to be wrong. Dean and that woman are just standing in the middle of the kitchen, screaming at the top of their lungs. When the doors fly open they stop, though. China Cat slips in front of Dean easily, her eyes flashing gold again when she looks at the three men standing there with guns and knives in hand.

John is the first to move. He grabs the arm of the woman between him and his son and then he does something surprising. Instead of throwing her out of the way to get to his boy he starts dragging her out of the house and she allows it.

"Which one are you?" he yells, snatching her through the house by her arm that he has in a bruising grip.

Dean is quick in following his father with Sam and Bobby behind him.

"Dad what are you doing?" cries Dean, sounding panicked in distressed at the way his friend is being handled.

"She hasn't done anything to us, what are you doing?" Sam asks next, more worried about his brother's reaction to all this than he is about China Cat's well being.

"What the hell is she?" Bobby is more interested in what she is and if she is dangerous.

John answers no one, ignoring them in favor of dragging the woman out of the house. She stumbles and falls when being pulled down the stairs of Bobby's porch but that doesn't stop the eldest Winchester. He drags her to his truck and slams her against it. That is when she makes the first noise of pain she had let slip through her lips throughout this whole ordeal. It is a soft grunt of pain but she doesn't fight John or try to get away from him when he pins her to the side of the truck by her throat.

"Bobby, get the holy water out of my truck," he says, earning a confused look.

"Holy water don't hurt her, John," Bobby says, though he still gets the gallon jug of holy water for his friend anyway.

"Dad! Stop it!" Dean demands feebly, trying to pull his father off of the woman who he has been clinging to since Sam found out that he hurt himself.

"Shut up, Dean!" John growls as he pushes his son out of the way. That gets a response from China Cat.

She growls lowly in her throat and her eyes flash gold again. John just smirks and takes the jug of holy water from Bobby. He empties it over her head.

For a moment nothing happens. Then white marking show p up on her skin.

The marks swirl over her shoulders and collar bones, creeping up her neck and framing her eyes that are now glowing gold instead of brown. John takes a step back, tracing the marks on the girl's skin all the way from her ankles up to her eyes.

"Šųkčąkskaga…"

The woman just smirked and cocked her head to the side.

"Mind telling me what all this is about, John? I thought you and your boys only attacked monsters."

"Well I need you and your kind to help me with killing a monster," Jon replies.

Šųkčąkskaga just smirks and tilts her head to the side. It doesn't look right on her face.

* * *

><p>An: TBC

Here is the song Green Bird if you want to hear it.

.com/watch?v=XJjnbhSTuqQ

I find it to be very calming.


	7. White Wolf

A/n: It's almost over! D: Another chapter for you all.

* * *

><p>He feels like he is seeing something he shouldn't. It feels like he has walked in on his mother and father fighting or having sex. He feels small, confused, and like the entire situation is out of control. Dean wants to hide again but he can't. Not when he is alone. It isn't okay to hide now or to run away to China Cat to let himself be taken care of. China Cat isn't China Cat anymore.<p>

She is Šųkčąkskaga.

She is a supernatural creature.

She is something that they are supposed to kill.

The thought of not having her makes Dean shake and his heart is beating wildly as he tries to imagine what it would be like if she wasn't there. He feels scared and uncertain. He wants to cry.

She seems to realize that something is wrong with Dean because she breaks away from glaring at John and looks at him. The woman looks different now with the white marks on her skin and her golden eyes. They aren't yellow like the eyes of the demon his father is obsessed with killing. They are a honey gold color and they are still warm and welcoming.

This realization calms Dean. She is still his China Cat. She just has a new name now but it is still the woman who will hold him if he needs it. She is still the woman who will take care of him at the drop of a hat.

With a little whine she starts pushing away from John to go to Dean only to find herself being slammed back into the side of the truck. Her eyes go back to eldest Winchester and she snarls.

"You know maybe if you paid as much attention to the living as you do to the dead your son wouldn't need me so much more than you do," she growls quietly. It's a low blow but it works, making the man falter just long enough for her to break away from him and go to Dean.

She wraps her arms around him and pulls his head down to rest on her shoulder. His arms wrap around her waist again and he feels better. He has his teddy bear back, his mother figure.

John recovers quickly but he doesn't go after her again. He doesn't want to catch and hurt her. He just doesn't want her to get away and she doesn't seem to want to leave his son's side so maybe it is fine to just leave her alone for now. He doesn't like how Dean is holding on to her, though, or the way she is murmuring comforting words into his ear and petting him like she is his mother.

He hates that Dean allows her to act like that because she isn't his mother. They are trying to avenge the boys' mother, not replace her.

Bobby slides up beside the man, watching Dean and the creature.

"So what is she, John? Sam and I looked through god only knows how many books and we couldn't find anything that matched her description and why do you need its help?"

John heaved a sigh and looked away from his son and the woman for a moment, glancing at Bobby.

"Have you heard The Gray Wolf Origin Myth?" he asks, looking away from the man and not waiting for an answer before continuing on. "When Mą'ųna created the world he made four wolves. Blue Wolf, Black Wolf, White Wolf, and Gray Wolf. Earthmager gave Blue Wolf the name _Kéračóga_ and gave him charge over the day. The second wolf, Šųkčąksépka, was given charge over the night. Šųkčąkskaga, the White Wolf, was put in charge of all things holy. Earthmaker called the last wolf Hįxočka. He was made the protector and guardian of humanity."

John narrows his eyes at the woman as she leans up and whispers in his son's ear.

"She is the White Wolf and I think that she or the Gray Wolf might be able to help kill the yellow eyed demon. I've been looking for her for quite a while now. I just couldn't find her. She and the others blend in very well with humans. To think I could've just gotten my son to bring her to me."

Bobby's face doesn't change much but he can't help but frown a bit more. This isn't supposed to have been about finding a damn wolf. This is supposed to be about Dean, about the fact that the man might be hurting himself again.

Ohlookalinebreak

Dean has listened to the story his father told and looks down at the woman who was holding him. So she isn't anything evil. She is something holy. Suddenly he feels like he shouldn't be holding her like this, seeking comfort in her touch. She is in charge of all things holy. She is too pure to be sullying herself by touching him and holding him like this.

As if reading his mind she smiles softly and leans up, kissing his cheek.

"I love you as if you were one of my children, Dean," she murmurs softly, pulling back just slightly to look up into the boy's eyes, her golden ones piercing into his hazel green.

"I love you, too," he murmurs quietly. He feels tears welling up in his eyes because he feels like this is a goodbye.

"I can't stay, Dean. I refuse to help fuel your father's obsession with avenging your mother. He needs to let the dead rest and take care of the living," she murmurs.

The woman reaches up and holds Dean's face in her hands, gently swiping away the tears that have started to fall with her thumbs. He isn't crying loudly or sobbing. The tears are just rolling out, silently.

"I don't know what I'll do if you leave, though," he whispers, reaching up to hold her wrists. She coos quietly and pulls the man's head down to kiss his forehead.

"You will go with your brother and do my brother's work and you will let your brother do mine when you need him to," she says softly, kissing Dean's cheek and leaning forward to whisper in his ear. "And remember, if you need me you just have to call."

She takes a step back and smiles, saying loud enough for John, Sam, and Bobby to hear her, "Ramble on, Dean and Sam, take care of your brother," she says, giving the boy a stern look.

Just as the white markings on her body start to float away in wisps of thick, white smoke John realizes that the woman is making a break for it. He lunges at her but it is too later. He grabs at her but his hand goes straight through her body and it seems to explode into the same white smoke.

Her dress falls to the ground and she is gone but her words still seem to ring through the air.

"_You know maybe if you paid as much attention to the living as you do to the dead your son wouldn't need me so much more than you do." _

"_Take care of your brother." _

"_And remember, if you need me all you have to do is call."_

* * *

><p>An: TBC

Also, here is the Gray Wolf Origin Story. I kinda left out some stuff when I retold it up there and if you want to read the real thing then here it is.

..html


	8. Epilogue

A/n: Last chapter.

* * *

><p>China Cat has been gone for a while now. Dean still refuses to call her by her real name.<p>

John is still looking for her. He still thinks he can get her to help him. Dean and Sam know that she won't.

Dean misses her and sometimes, though he will deny it if asked, he finds the dress that was left on the ground when she disappeared and he holds onto it while he sleeps. It never stops smelling like apples. Even though he misses her he knows he isn't alone, though. He has Sammy.

Sam has taken to taking care of Dean like a fish to water.

At first he was a bit overbearing, always wanting to help, to talk, to see how Dean felt.

Now, though, he can tell when to lay off his brother and when to come to him. Sam has even found the song Green Bird and he hums it for Dean when he is upset. He also hugs him and Dean has discovered that he likes Sammy's hugs.

They are different than China Cat's.

Hers were strong but still she was soft and Dean could nuzzle into her. It was like having a huge, warm, life sized teddy bear.

The first time he let Sam hug him it was like being slammed against a brick wall in comparison.

Sam is all angles and flat plains of muscle. He is warm, though. That is something he and China Cat have in common.

Dean has found that if he allows it Sam can make him feel just as safe as China Cat used to.

It has taken a while but now when he needs it Dean doesn't push Sam away and complain about chick-flick moments when Sam gives him a much needed hug or when Sam sits with him and runs his fingers through his hair until he falls asleep.

He only does that when Dean needs him to, though.

Dean understands what China Cat meant when she told him that they will do her brother's work and sometimes Sam will do hers.

They take care of people. They save people from the things that go bump in the night. And when Dean needs it Sam takes care of him.

Right now they are driving through South Carolina with fields of tobacco on either side of them but the only thing he can smell in the air as his flows into the car through an open window is apples. The song 'Ramble on' starts playing and Dean just smiles.

He knows he isn't alone and he doesn't have to take care of everyone all the time.

He has Sammy and even if he can't see her he knows he has China Cat.

And if he needs them he knows they will take care of him.

* * *

><p>An: This is the last chapter and it is shorter than the others but I don't think it needed to be any longer.

I am so happy! Lol This is my like.. the first multichapter story I have ever actually completed!


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